台灣女性HIV感染者人數逐年增加，超過七成的女性感染者在確認診斷後仍持續或重新擁有伴侶，但由於疾病的傳染途徑及污名，使女性患者在追求兩性親密時退縮與自我設限。本研究目的為探討女性HIV感染者在確認診斷後親密關係之經驗歷程。採敘說研究法，以立意取樣選擇五位確認診斷後持續或重新擁有男性親密伴侶之女性感染者，以Sternberg 發展的愛情三角理論為基礎擬定半結構式訪談大綱進行訪談。研究結果為女性愛滋感染者面臨兩性親密關係經驗時，會經五個階段的起伏，第一階段『愛之生』女性感染者經歷怨天問地、天人交戰及自我隔離的經驗；第二階段『愛之拉扯』在告知、保險套協商以及性活動中困頓掙扎；第三階段『愛之退讓』女性感染者面臨兩性關係時，因為低自尊而退讓、退而求其次或委曲求全；第四階段『愛之擁有』與伴侶相處時歷經被懷疑、生活中不能言明，伴侶的處之泰然、風雨同舟，最後終成含砂蚌貝的真情；第五階段『愛之永恆』與疾病共存找到生命的力量。疾病牽扯了女性感染者兩性親密關係的動力變化，更削弱她在兩性關係的地位，而男性伴侶在關係間扮演主控主導的角色。醫療人員協助女性感染者與其親密伴侶，可依據不同階段在告知、保險套協商、及性關係等方面提供需求照護。

The number of women with HIV infection in Taiwan is increasing. More than 70% of women had resumed having partner and 80-90% engaged in sexual activity after diagnosis with HIV. Due to HIV attached stigma, women experienced stigmatization, low self-esteem and hard to maintain or resume an intimate relationship. The purpose of this study was to explore the experiences of intimate relationship among women living with HIV by narrative. A narrative inquiry was conducted for five HIV positive women who were married or has/had a stable male partner after diagnosis with HIV. The semi-structure interview outline was used for data collection and the narratives were transcribed verbatim. The study results showed five stages of intimate relationship among women living with HIV: 1) When love began- they expressed “why me,” self-isolation or give up. 2) To be or not to be- they felt dilemmas of disclosure, condom use and having sex. 3) Hold back her love- they were duplicitious or compromised because of low self-esteem. 4) The possession of love- they were questioned or threatened by their partners and the HIV related issue cannot be touched. If their intimate partners accepted them, they felt secure like in the same storm-tossed boat. 5) Eternal love- they found the strength of living with HIV. Male intimate partners play a predominance role on commitment, sex and comdom negotiation. HIV act as a catalyst to induce dynamics within intimacy relationship and their disadvantaged status were worsen Health professionals can assist women with HIV and their partners according to individual needs in each stage after diagnosis with HIV.

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